International Transgender DAy of Visibility

Last year, I made a blog post about International Transgender Day of Visibility. I talked about my experience growing up in the Philippines with very few visible queer role models to look up to and how there's still more work to be done.

This day was first established by Rachel Crandall-Crocker on March 31st, 2009 as a way for us to celebrate and recognize transgender people as we LIVE. There is a gravity and importance to Transgender Day of Remembrance, but while remembering our dead keeps us grounded, remembering the living can keep us moving forward.

I'm just about to hit the new milestone of being two years into my medical transition with testosterone, and with that comes a new variety of things for me to hurdle mentally and emotionally. The way my appearance has evolved has now allowed me to be able to pass consistently and I find myself navigating the world around me without overthinking my appearance, mannerisms, or voice anywhere near as much as I used to.

And I feel like now more than ever, it's important for me to continue to talk about my experiences and the work that still needs to be done by our community (and the people who claim to be our allies).

The life that I live now and the objectively safe environment I'm in does give me the privilege to be visible and I try to use the platform and the tools that I have to share what I learn, share the resources I find and hold space for people to feel less alone. There's still so much more that I want to do and I still want to be a more active part in the fight to improve the lives of people in the country where I was born and this country where I’ve made a home for myself.

But it's tough. It's overwhelming and it's terrifying. The trauma I have around experiencing conversion therapy hits hard at times and I sometimes find myself spiraling and second-guessing how safe I really am. And seeing the fight that my community is in the middle of right now, in America, just feels too close to home. It also just amplifies how much harder it is in countries with even fewer resources.

We deserve better than this. We deserve to be able to just live our lives and be greeted with basic decency and respect. We're not out here trying to convert anyone into being one of us (that's what religion is for, isn't it?), we're just trying to LIVE. For far too long, the world around us would rather remember us when we're dead than support us when we're alive.

As we share our stories today, as we remind ourselves and each other that we can LIVE and THRIVE and be LOVED, we're also showing the world that we won't be forced into hiding and that we are real, that we're human beings.

And just as I said last year, if you don't have the environment or the headspace to be visible, that is okay. Because even if being trans strips us of so many privileges, being able to be visible in the first place IS a privilege. As people in the community who have the capacity to be visible, it's still our responsibility to be visible for those who can't be.